It’s the tenth day of the New Year.
Ten days before 2016 I had started thinking of what 2015 had been about. I challenged myself to put a single word to it. One word was all I needed and it took me twenty days to be absolutely sure it was the correct one.
Gratitude. 2015 was about gratitude. It was about gratitude to a new continent, a new country, her own lovely friendly people and all those people of other countries who made South Africa their home, if only for a bit.
Gratitude to Emily, our first domestic helper. Emily was a single mother of three. Her children lived with her mother in a village five hours away by bus. Her husband had been shot in the head by a gang wanting to steal his car. Her brother was blind. In the second week of her employment with us he fell down the stairs at school, had brain injury, was operated upon and succumbed after a week in hospital. A few hours before he died he had asked her to bring tomato soup. She was in a taxi to hospital when the hospital called to say he was no more. Emily had breast cancer. Cancerous lumps had been removed, but the cancer had creeped to her uterus and she had to leave the job. The children still ask about her. She went back to her village and we know nothing of her now.
Emily means determination in our household
Gratitude to Neziswa, our second helper. Neziswa is a tall woman. She laughs from deep with in her stomach. She bends her back as she laughs, her head touches her knees and she comes up laughing with her hair making a ‘Liril’ kind of splash. The ring of her laughter stays for a while and she continues to smile long after the joke has ended. A mother of four, the eldest 17 and the youngest 1, wife of a part time Zimbabwean butcher, she is a fashionista in her own right. Neziswa gets a new hairstyle every three months. She keeps her head shaved and pastes a wig with glue that lasts three months. If she can’t find the time to buy glue, she and her sister exchange wigs which don’t need glue. English is not her strong point, laughter is. When we talk of Neziswa at home atleast one, (if not both the children) stand up to imitate her laughter.
Neziswa represents cheerfulness in our household.
Gratitude to Johannes, our one stop solution. Johannes is a contractor handy man. He is built like a teddy bear and he walks like one. He wears a black pee cap and drives a white bakkie. His 10 cent nostrils fill his round shining pudgy face and he greets me in the morning like a school friend meeting after eight years. Johannes was the first person I met who could laugh out aloud and say it was funny but he couldn’t figure out what the problem was with the geyser or the doorbell or the creepy crawly in the pool or the backyard lighting. He was willing to come at 7 every morning and stay till about 12 to figure out what was wrong. He usually got it right in a day or two.
Johannes represents reinterpretation in our household.
Gratitude to our own people of the Indian diaspora in South Africa. They welcomed us with warm hugs and open hearts. They invite us home, treat us to poori pata (patauda, a fried roll of colocasia leaf and chickpea flour sandwiched between two pooris made with refined flour), onion bhaji, breyani (biryani) and soji (sooji halwa). They call us ‘bhenji’ and ‘bhaiji’ and speak in the most loving way in Hindi. Gratitude to them for being examples of how even in the most difficult and trying long decades of apartheid and stifling political situations families kept their culture and language alive and derived strength from it.
Heeralall ji and Garrib bhai represent dedication in our household.
Gratitude to all our hosts of all our short and long excursions around South Africa. Gratitude to Airbnb also, for getting us through to meeting so many wonderful couples, running resorts post retirement. Their energy and enthusiasm made all those holidays extra special, and we left them often as friends.
These people represent passion in our household.
Gratitude to my brother and sister-in-law, and their lovely daughters for the long drive to Kruger and back, the tree spotting along with the big five, for exploring and engaging, for being a springboard of hope and horizons; and for always being a cushion (no pun intended) one can count on. For the introduction to Taylor Swift, for the discussions on AAP and the United Nations, for the hand crafted jewelry and mementos from Bulgaria, for making everyone special.
The family represents respect in our household.
Gratitude to my parents for their humility, for setting the bar high for publications, productive social engagements, proactive involvement in research and meaningful conversations. Gratitude for building confidence in people wherever you go, and for being the wind not just beneath our wings, but beneath tens of thousands of people across the world working on different aspects of Indology.
They represent possibility and positivity in our household.
Gratitude to my in-laws for their thoughts, interpretations and a perspective that is most often new to me. It encourages me to explore undiscovered areas. Gratitude for having brought up a son who strives for balance.
They represent steadfastness in our household.
Gratitude to my children for introducing life in a new format everyday; for continued lessons on patience and kindness. Gratitude to my partner, above all, for understanding and believing in my gratitude. Gratitude for good health and positive company, for new horizons and unchartered territories.
May 2016 multiply reasons to be grateful for you too.
